You know you are from Delhi when...

1. You have faced power-cuts up to 10hours a day!And yet, its no big deal for you.

2. Even though the hottest party spot/pub in town says "Admit Over 18, Drinks over 25" You have been inside and have enjoyed a beer, being underage.

3. Living in the most posh colonies, you get to hear, "Aloo, Bhindi Pyaaz, Tamatar le loo"... And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor "Bhaiyaa aapne free dhaniya nehi diya!" [Even with Half a kilo Carrot]

4. You have Driven rash and Broken Signals more times than you can count. Doesnt matter whether you have a license or not.

5. Every teenager knows atleast one "ghunda" on whose name he can jump around all day.6. You have seen your relative or family member bribing a policeman at-least once.

7. You have been to Big Chill at-least once.

8. When a car accident occurs, instead of solving the problem quietly, either one of the drivers would start with.. "B******, meri gadi maar di, ab tu ruk, mein teri marta hoon" or something kinda.

9. In the 90's you have been to India Gate and around 2000-2002 you have been to Ansal Plaza more times than you can count.!

10. Mocha,CCD,Barista,Hookah,24x7 are like your favorite hangouts.

11. You just love socializing.

12. You speak or hear the word "setting" or "jugad" at-least once a day.

13. When you stare at a school bus, you see students talking of the phone, care free OR Chilling out listening songs on the Ipod.

14. A meter working in a Auto - Miracle! And hear statements like..# Gas nahi hai# Gaadi waapis dene ka time ho gaya# Wahan se waapis ki sawaari nahi milti# Wahan jaam (traffic jam) mein kaun fasega

15. All guys have at-least been to Pallika bazar and they all know why. Well, even the girls are starting now.

16. This is the place when you actually feel like slapping the same traffic policeman who caught you yesterday... Because today he's on his bike without a helmet or talking on the phone...

17. Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple are just for tourist. You havnt been to more than two of these.

18. Past Midnight? Hungry? Go to a Five Star, The Airport or the only hangout in south, 24x7. Where the FUCK will the West,East and North Delhi people end up? No nearby joint.

19. You have an example of Delhi being unsafe for women after Midnight. And now even for men.

20. You wont be surprised if you find some old lady bargaining at a SALE.

21. Young or Old, You have played street football in the rains and have ended up breaking some glass.

22. You first abused real bad when you were around 10 years old.

23. Your Dad's really good friends with at least one Public Figure.

24. Library is virtually non-existent unless you go to British council or American Library or Max Mueller Bhavan

25. Deepavali means every house is illuminated to such an extent that you wonder if its a competition of illlumination and cracker bursting is so continuous that it is diffiult to imagine one moment of silence on Diwali.

26. You have had the most RANDOM plans. Like reaching for a movie show which starts at 1pm, at 12:55pm and just hoping that gods left some tickets for you and your friends.

27. You have been warned by your parents at-least once that going at public places like Malls, isnt safe, Cuz there might just a BOMB in that place.

28. You've had a ride on the cycle rickshaw - have haggled over the price but pity the rickshaw wallas' condition.

29. You glare at people who call Gol-Guppa's- Pani Puri!And you always ask the vendor "Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?"

30. If in school, Your conti got busted by cops, teachers or a combination of both.

31. You've had school cancelled due to cold, summer vacations preponed due to heat and have atleast thrice evacuated your school building after tremors.

32. You've hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg.And after crossing it, you might end up saying " FEEL AA GAYE". OR, You have raced up the DND and taken the U turn back.

33. You have been to a wedding in a Mehrauli farmhouse and have hit Nasha later on.

34. You have taken the 10 rupee Call Center cab/ Qualis from anywhere to Gurgaon/Noida.

35. You have seen a child with crutches begging on the Red Light RUN fast when the light turns green!

36. Almost every Delhi-ite understands Punjabi to an extent. May he belong to any region. PUNJABI unites everyone

37. You call the waiter in the restaurant "boss" & tack on "yaar"/ "bhai" to almost every sentence.

38. Rajender Da Dhaba's got better chicken than Taj. You've atleast tried it once! And you just might see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Peugeot parked outside it!

39. You have surely heard of "Chor Bazar" but never been there.

40. You use the word and have described practically every other person on the planet as "Vella".

41. 'KAROBAR' = 'Car-O-Bar' i.e. drinking in the car....Hell yeah! thats what we live for!

42. You often see Middle Aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK (Near Prince Pan) or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !

43. Miranda house and CJM are two places where u'll see people from different school/colleges hang out.

44. In the 90s, movie at Chankaya, momos at Yashwant Place and Hot Choc Fudge at Nirula's = ULTIMATE Fun.

45. School students here, have gone to school, soo early in the morning, it being Dark!..REAL Dark And you've attended those 3am GROUP tuition's during your boards!Haha.. Spookky! Lol.

46. Almost every Delhite has witnessed a DTC bus brawl turning into street fight.. Yet fun! OR the DTC bus overspeeding/breaking traffic rules/ or disc breaking.

47. You have probably been to Gurudwara Bangla Sahib @ 4 in the morning. Or even at 6 'cuz you were out on a day-bunk!

48. When everyone from the Auto Driver, Vegetable Vendor, Grocery Store guy, Watch-man, Salesperson to just any 'guy' is referred to here as 'Bhaiya'

49. You refer to East Delhi as Jamuna ke Us Paar.

50. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.

51. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to take the help of your friend's Dad, who happens to be the PA to the under secretary of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.

52. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.

53. You call Gurgaon & NOIDA as illegitimate cousins of Delhi!

54. Most of you have at least two cars; your drivers have scooters and mobiles.

55. As soon someone tells you abut an important political development, you whip out your mobile and whisper into it as if you have access to the Prime Minister's OFFICE!

56. You know that a famhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming.

57. You used "contacts" for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to playschool admissions.

58. You didn't find 'Monsoon Wedding' funny. And Laughed your ass off when you watched 'Dilli 6'

59. You've probably used the word 'Tota' to describe ANY Random-Hot-Chick that just passed by! 'Phew!

60. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omelet at Dhaula Kuan at least once!

61. When Aunties go to drop their kids to the Bus-Stop in a Night Gown with a Duppatta.

62. When you think EVERY South Indian comes from 'Madras'. No Offense.

63. When you have an uncle in every SARKARI department!

64. When If your side of the road has a traffic jam, then you start driving on the wrong side of the road.

65. You think If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

66. You feel, If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

67. When the only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.

68. One of your favorite yummiest ice-creams was "ORANGE - BAR"

69. Almost anyone exept a Delhi-ite is a "Chutiya"

70. DESPITE of all the goods and bads. You still Love Delhi. =]

If you in Delhi, you should master the art of Bargaining

Yes… you guys read it right… If you are in Delhi, you should know, in fact master the art of bargaining, be it with auto (three - wheeler) guys, shop keepers… ahh, the best being beggars!!!

The basic rule for bargaining is to master the art of representing yourself as a fashion designer, footwear designer, college / school student…etc, depending on the situation…

In a endeavour of mastering the art, or should I say…still learning the art of bargaining, I have been faced with many situation, where, I must admit, have succeeded in bargaining to the best!!

Case 1: Auto Guys
The previous day, I thought of pampering myself and hiring an auto to go to office…I thought of breaking through the monotony and getting little more considerate about my legs, giving my ankle muscles a break from continuously juggling between the clutch plate and the break… Hence I decided to stretch my legs in an auto…

Ok, that is it on the background… let me get to the point

I with all my baggage (handbag, lunch bag and laptop bag), was on the road, calling out to every auto that passed by, not even bothering to look inside and realize, that the same is booked… After about 15 minutes of calling out to autos, one of them stopped by me…

Auto Guy: Kahan? (Where?)
Me: Okhla jaana hai… (I want to go to Okhla)

Auto Guy shook his head and mumbled something… I being me… muphat (Something my friends keep reminding me and now, I think they think its my second name) asked him ‘Kyun Nahin Jaana, jungle thodi na hai’

He didn’t bother to answer, instead just drove away…

After a few more minutes of trying, I got lucky again! This time, the experience was different, the conversation with the auto dude went like this

Me: Bhaiya, Okhla jaana hai

Auto Guy: Rs. 60/- lage ga

Me: Okhla bhol rahi hoon, chandni chawk nahin… Meter chalao…Rs. 30/- lagte hain, aur aap students ke saat yeh karenge… humhe bhi pocket money milta hai… (I could not believe I said that, but realized, the trick worked)

Auto Guy: Rs. 35 dena… but he refused to use the meter…

Aah… from Rs. 60/- to Rs. 35/- … not bad!

That is the time I felt totally sympathetic towards those, who have to travel by an auto every day… wonder, what they have to go through every morning… how many ‘reasons’ she/he would have to give, while bargaining with the auto guy… hmm… They might as well come out with a book ‘100 ways of bargaining with an auto guy’.

Case 2: Shop keepers at Janpath

As we walk down the lane, many of the shopkeepers keep calling us to take a look at the collection… Granting one with the pleasure of hosting us, we walked into his shop

My friend apparently fell in love with this scarf, which was over priced… hence the conversation was …

Me: Yeh kitne ka hai (how much is this for?)
Shopkeeper: Rs. 900/- (for a small scarf!!!!)
Me: Kya, itna mehanga… ismein hai kya….
Shopkeeper starts explaining, this is crepe, silk n all…

Me: Mein fashion designer hoon, humko pata hai…. Hum sirf Rs. 300 denge…

Giving me a amazed look (god knows, what he must be thinking…) shakes his head and says….

Shopkeeper: Rs. 850/-

Sticking to my grounds, me and my friend starting moving out of the shop…. The shopkeeper starts shouting at us, Rs. 800 de do… Rs 750 de do… and then we didn’t hear him…

Noticing us, entering another shop… he rushes to us to say… aacha le lo…

Seeing my friend run to shop to get the scarf, I was happy to have learning the tricks of the trade…

Hence… my friends… if you in Delhi and want to survive here…, learn how to bargain… because, that’s what will help you save yourself from being fooled…