The Year That Went By…

As I sit by the Ocean, watching the waves touch the shore, waiting for the sun to set, unconsciously I start reflecting on the year that just passed by. The first image that comes to my mind is Ishaan (my son) first steps and my parent’s happiness in seeing him walk.

The year 2012 did teach me a lot, especially to enjoy the highs and fight the lows. The year was indeed memorable and I am sure, I will never seize to forget this year. The year started with a customary New Year party that finished at the wee hours of the morning, while our son was fast asleep. Since he had just learnt to turn, the occasional check on him and a prolonged moment of wondering ‘how can we love someone so much?’ and while we did so, we had so many thought that passed through our minds. As the clock struck 12 and the year 2012 started, me and my husband decided to go together to check on our son. While doing so, the very look at my husband, whose smile and a prolonged unwavering gaze at Ishaan spoke a million words. The next day when I asked him about it, he simple shrugged and said “I just love him too much”. Watching my in-laws play with Ishaan and relish every minute spent with him, made me realize that happiness can be extracted from small things in life. No amount of expensive gifts can be ever compared to the fulfillment you get when you see your child smile at you and the unconditional love you receive from him.

My husband asked me today, so what were your high and lows of 2012 and surprisingly, I could only think of highs and lows associated with Ishaan. I felt elated when Ishaan said his first word, his first turn, his first step, his time with his grandparents, his first day at school, his laughter on seeing children around, his million dollar smile when he sees us from a distance and the list went on… What astonishes me is the fact that, not at one point did I repent that personally I hadn’t achieved anything this year. I think my greatest achievement was to hear Ishaan say his first words, his first step to many more, to have been able to be the first one to feed him his first meal and all meals. I thank god today for allowing me to cherish the moments, which are irreplaceable. And I would also thank the almighty for giving my parents the opportunity of spending time with their grandson. The pleasure they took in being a part of his growing process, the contentment they experienced when Ishaan did different things and the joy they got when he use to look at them and smile, makes this year the memorable year.

The lows were hard hitting too, the kind that you will never ever forget. The worst of all was when Ishaan fell ill. Malaria was spreading and had caught Ishaan too. The seriousness of the situation was not felt, until he woke up from his sleep, tried to walk and gave a shiver. I still remember going to his pediatrician and seeing his fever touch 104 degrees. What came next was a nightmare that will never be forgotten. Holding him down for his injection, while he cried his lungs out, is something that I had never dreamt of doing. I think, this is the only low that qualifies to be the lowest point of this year. No other situation, however bad it was, can be compared to this one.

In all, as we all say, every passing minute teaches you something and yes, I have learnt a lot this year. The unconditional love from my husband, which could be felt every time he rushes back home, so that I could go to the gym, The unreserved love from my child’s every time he looked at me, the never ending from my parent, when they force me to eat more and the wholehearted concern from my in-laws, who never failed to make their daughter – in – laws feel like their own daughters.

I feel blessed to have all of you in my life! The sun has finally set, marking the end of the day of 2012 and tomorrow will be a beginning of yet another year with lots of pleasurable moments with my loved ones.

The Love within all of us

Love has no definition. Even if it did, the definition varies, depending on each person’s perception. To me Love is beyond articulation. It is more in action than in words… but many would think otherwise and I do respect their way of loving.  

We all have loved and the same has been different for various people in your life. Your love for your parents, love for your friends and loving that one person with whom you would and will (optimistically speaking) spend your life with. But what we generally forget is that we do unconsciously fall in love with some people we meet in life. But this love doesn’t necessarily have to be the love that we all think Love is. It’s the respect that sheds love in it and to me, Senegal has taught me that.

Living in Senegal has taught me a lot. Hailing from a country, known for its diversification in culture that amalgamates and makes us Indians, has also rendered me with ways to look at things around me. Being an Indian, you would involuntarily demarcate southerners from northerners , as you would with east from the west. Each coming from different parts of India are looked at upon with a preconceived notion. A popular example is the way with which a North Indian looks at a South Indian, he would surely think “ahh, he/she would be intelligent, either an Engineer or Doctor”. This could be seen in a good way or to those who feel threatened by the other cultures intelligence or so called perceived intelligence, would try and demean them by quoting some intelligent (that is what they wish to believe) talks like “Madrasis always have curd rice. You black people know nothing but work” and many more. What they forget is that the same people, who take the sadistic pleasure in passing such derogatory remark, relish and lip smackingly eat the other dishes like Dosas and Idlis, which are from south India. To them all Southerners are Madrasis. This is most of Northern India’s way of describing South Indians. In the same manner, people who come from the East are all from Kolkata. I fail to understand, when each one of us are taught Geography in our Schooling days, were all these people daydreaming about food? These are the same people who could rattle out the names of the smallest village abroad and would love to go settle there.

The reason I quoted the above is not to express my frustration but to clearly differentiate the attitude difference between those from a very developed country to those from a under developed country. This is just not restricted to Indian but to many other people from different nations. 

I clearly remember, when I had told people that I would be going to live in Senegal, the first thing they said was…”what would you do in a country full of Blacks”. I had retaliated saying, “the same as what I do in a country, where I deal with illiterate people and morons”. 

Senegal has been the most wonderful experience for me. I am almost completing three years here, which have passed effortlessly and fast. This country has taught me friendliness and respect for each one of the people here. Like India which was colonized by Britishers, Senegal was colonized by French. But unlike many Indian, Senegalese people are not bitter and demeaning towards others.  

‘Teranga’, as Senegal is believed to be, means Welcome. And I reckon that it is indeed very welcoming. It is not the country that matters but it’s the people living in the country that makes the country so welcoming. As you walk down any street here, you would be greeted warmly by people who don’t even know you. Here it isn’t necessary for people to know you, to be said good morning to. Each and everyone’s conversation starts with a greeting and confirming if your family is good. It is imperative for you to greet the person before asking them anything. This is applicable to even the shopkeepers, where you would buy your daily provision. What amazes me is when you do greet them, you are automatically bestowed with so much calmness and friendliness that the remaining conversation with them seems like you have known them for years together.

Many might say that this country has nothing but sand… but I would contradict it with saying, this country has everything that other developed country doesn’t have. This country has people who make you feel at home. This country makes you feel as if you belong here, this country teaches you how every person, irrelevant of their social stature, love and respect one another. This country makes you feel safe to walk down the road even at the wee hours of the morning and not feel scared. This country teaches you to love people from different culture and countries.

We Indians have an uncanny habit of admiring and loving everything that’s White… ooh they love white skin… But what I refuse to understand is, when you are from a country that has all the different skin tones, how can you be so biased at looking at things?

Senegal has taught me another definition of love. Love to respect and the world will respect you back with ample of love in it.

Dark vs Fair

Even in this era, where we talk about India progressing, it being one of the most progressive country, but how much ever the country succeeds, people will still judge by your skin colour!

Why do we tend to forget that, the best of the people who represent India at an international level have mostly been people who are dark skinned; be it Indian actors, actresses, models who are internationally known, are dark skinned.

My recent encounter with ‘so called’ fair skinned inquisitive aunty left me speechless. The encounter took place in the flight from Dubai to New Delhi

At the waiting lounge

The Inquisitive Aunty: Kahan ja rahi ho? (Where are you going?)

Me: New Delhi

The Inquisitive Aunty: Mein bhi wahin ja rahin hoon (I am also going there)

Me: Acha (ok)

The Inquisitive Aunty: Tum kahan se ho? (Where are you from?)

Me: New Delhi

The Inquisitive Aunty: Acha, lagti to tum Bengali ho (You look like a Bengali)

Me: Mein waise south Indian hoon….before I could finish my statement…

The Inquisitive Aunty: Acha, tum mallu ho (ok, you a Mallu)

Me: Nahin, Mein Chennai se hoon (No, am from Cheenai)

The Inquisitive Aunty: Same thing hai. Dono jageh ke log ek jaise dikte hain (it’s the same thing. People from these two places, look alike)

This is where I lost my patience…how can people, even now, don’t know where the states are in their own country. And these are the people who would rattle names of places in Amreka (America).

Me: Aunty, mujhe pata nahin tha, kerela aur Chennai ek ho gaya hai. (Aunty, I didn’t know Kerala and Chennai have become a single state)

I think she didn’t get the sarcasm, because she replied….

The Inquisitive Aunty: Arre, abhi tak tho nahin hua (its not happened yet)

This is not the only time, where we dark skinned people are put through this. The latest Fair and lovely for men advertisement is also a mockery towards darker skin people. Why is that, a man has to be fair to get a job. Is it like saying, that dark skinned people are not accepted by people? Why are models in the adverts, shown to crib about their skin colour, if they are dark? Am I wrong in saying; it’s the dark skinned people, who have time and again made Indians proud in all and different walks of life. Then why are we trying to make them feel conscious by airing such adverts? Is it like saying, that if you are fair, you are more confident? Honestly, I totally disagree. If that were the case then we would never have darker people in the glamour industry.

I just hope the mentality of Indians will change some day… and am really waiting for that day!

(Pictures: Courtesy Google)

Zest to keep fit!

To those who think I will be writing about what it takes to keep fit or the growing understanding amongst Indians and in India, for staying fit; you are totally wrong… This piece is about the love for staying FIT amongst people in Dakar, Senegal.

I have moved from India to Dakar and its been quite a while that I have been intending to write about the enthusiastic people in Dakar. I use the word enthusiastic to describe their eagerness to stay fit.

When I was in India, I remember holding an unending debate about staying fit. Forlornly, I had always heard people say that people went to gym to lose weight. Even though I had tried convincing them and changing their preconceived notion about gym, but in vain. They would just refuse to accept the fact that gyming is not just about losing weight but to also stay fit. Gym is not only for people, who want to shed weight, but its also for those who would like to maintain their weight. I personally, have always felt refreshed after gyming, have always achieved mental peace, when I walked out of the gym. I use to feel so refreshed, felt as if, the day could start again! But alas, I could never rub off the feeling in others in India.

I met my likes in Dakar, who too loved exercising.

The day I landed in Dakar, the first thing I thought was “wow, people are so FIT”. Back in my school days, I always thought, Africans are genetically thin, but now I know, I was wrong.

The drive to our house made me think so different; I could see people jogging down the road…. The popular myth, that we can only workout in the mornings or in the evening was also proved wrong. In Dakar, I have seen people exercising at all odd time of the day; in short, you would always see someone or other working out, during the day.

To people here, exercising doesn’t just mean, hitting the gym and sweating it out. At ever corner, wherever there is a little space, you would see people exercising. Hence, the fact that you can only exercise in a gym is totally wrong.

When you drive down the cornice road in Dakar, you would notice people working out on ‘very different’ looking weight training equipments. I was quite curious to see those equipments. One day, I just walked down to beach to have a look. I was totally surprised at what I saw. The chest press equipment (don’t know, what should I really call them), was basically a bench to lie down on, tree trunk used as the chest press rod and car tyres as weights. Wow… is an understatement. For triceps training, they either used the car types or tree trunk. Running on the sand helped them build their thigh muscles….

The sight just put me to shame. I had always thought, you could never build your muscles, if you didn’t have proper weight training equipments.

Way to goooooo people… hats off to you guys!

Mother!

From spending the initial nine months in her womb, you tend to realize the importance of your mother. But with age, you tend to take them for granted. But, she is the one, who would stand by you, come-what may!
From teaching you to take the first steps, to seeing you walk away from her after marriage, she stand by you, holding you close to her, fighting the tears of happiness.
You don’t realize the importance of things they do till you have to do them yourself. Its always said, you relies the importance of a person, only when she is gone… but my friends, please don’t let that happen… enjoy every minute you get with your loved ones, because, you can never get that time back!
• You grumble at the food given to you but you realize she is the best cook, when you try your hands at cooking
• You complain about the few seeds on the fruits given to you in a plate, but feel blessed after you have to cut the fruit yourself
• You make her wait for hours together and she does that without complaining, just to ensure her child has safely reached home, enabling her to sleep well; until, you have to wait for hours together for someone, you don’t realize the time spent by her waiting for you
• You go starving the night out of laziness to cook for yourself, is when you are reminded of your mom, who never whines about waking up in the middle of the night to cook for you
• You miss her compliment on your dress, when you don’t get any, when you away from her
• You miss the gifts she gets for you, when you crave to be surprised by someone
• You get irritated, when she asks you to eat from time to time, but miss being wanted to be asked to eat, when she is not there with you
• You backlash every time she stops you from coming home late, but miss being scolded at until you return to an empty home, with no one waiting for you
• She waits to see you smile when you return home and smiles at you. You realize the importance of the same, only when she is not with you and you miss the warm welcoming smile
• You cry alone, is when you miss being asked the reason behind those tears
• She stands by you, when you are heartbroken, even though you have broken her heart a zillion times, by not listening to her.
• You shout at her for calling you from time to time, until you understand the importance of those calls
In all, mothers are you best friends… to all my friends – enjoy every minute with your family…. Never take your parents for granted because they are the only people who will always stand by you and welcome you and share your sorrows with open arms!
Mom…. I miss you the most!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE

1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal." 9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay .
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road .
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately. 12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the " Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India .
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar andSantacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport .
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.

But we all still love mumbai....!!! atleast i do!

Awesome! B_O_M_B_A_Y

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
There is no darkness in Andheri.
Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
Nor is there any princess at Princess Street .
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street .
There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar Wada.
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
Null bazaar does not sell taps.
You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi, Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!